The Art of Submission: A Loving Wife’s Guide to Building a Harmonious Home
Let’s get one thing straight right off the bat: the word submission can raise some eyebrows—and maybe even a few hackles. In a world where independence is celebrated (as it should be!), the idea of “submitting” can sound like something straight out of a medieval marriage manual. But here’s the kicker: submission, when done with love and mutual respect, isn’t about surrendering your will or losing your identity. It’s about choosing harmony over chaos, teamwork over division, and love over ego.
So, let’s roll up our sleeves and dive into what it really means to submit in a way that makes your marriage not just work, but thrive.
Submission Is NOT a Dirty Word
When you hear “wives, submit to your husbands,” as Ephesians 5:22 famously says, it’s easy to imagine some dreary Stepford-wife scenario. But context is everything. This isn’t about being a doormat or shrinking into the wallpaper. Submission, in its biblical sense, is about being a partner who fosters unity, respect, and peace in the home.
Think of it like a dance. Every good waltz needs a leader and a follower. If both try to lead, you’ll end up with a toe-stepping disaster. And if no one leads, well, it’s less a waltz and more a shuffle. In marriage, submission is like saying, “Okay, I trust you to guide us, and I’ll do my part to make sure we both shine.”
The Power of Trust
Submission starts with trust. It’s like handing over the map to someone else on a road trip. Sure, you could navigate, but if you’ve agreed your husband is the driver, let him take the wheel. (But hey, a good co-pilot still reads the signs and offers directions when needed!)
Trust doesn’t mean your husband is always right. Let’s face it—he’s human. He’ll get things wrong, like putting the whites in with the reds or thinking he can assemble IKEA furniture without the instructions. Submission means respecting his role as the head of the family while knowing your wisdom, perspective, and support are just as crucial.
How Submission Looks in Action
So, what does submission look like in everyday life? Spoiler: it doesn’t mean walking three steps behind him or saying “yes” to every whim. It’s more about the heart than the logistics.
- Respect His Role:
Picture this: your husband comes home after a tough day, and instead of a barrage of complaints about the laundry pile or the leaky faucet, he’s met with a smile and a warm meal. Respecting his role as the leader means making home his sanctuary—not his battleground. - Speak with Kindness:
Words are powerful. If you’re constantly rolling your eyes or tossing out biting comments, it’s like slowly deflating the tires on the family bus. Speak with kindness and encouragement, even when you’re frustrated. Think of it as emotional first aid for your relationship. - Support His Decisions:
This one’s tricky, especially if you think you’d make a better call. (Spoiler alert: sometimes, you will!) But part of submission is letting your husband make decisions and supporting them, even if they flop. Remember, a failed plan is just a stepping stone to a better one. - Offer Your Input:
Submission doesn’t mean you sit quietly while he decides everything. You’re a team, and your voice matters. Think of yourself as the trusted adviser to his CEO role. Together, you’re building something extraordinary.
Why Submission Is a Strength
Here’s a little secret: submission isn’t a weakness; it’s a superpower. It takes a strong woman to put aside pride and ego for the greater good of her marriage. It’s about leading from behind the scenes, like the stage manager who ensures the show goes off without a hitch.
And let’s not forget: submission is a two-way street. Ephesians 5:25 reminds husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church. Spoiler: Christ gave His life for the church. That’s the kind of selfless, sacrificial love your husband is called to. Submission is a lot easier when you’re submitting to a man who cherishes you that much.
When Submission Goes Wrong
Let’s address the elephant in the room. What if your husband is, well, not exactly acting like Christ in his leadership? Submission doesn’t mean tolerating abuse, neglect, or selfishness. It’s not a blank check for bad behavior.
If your husband’s choices are harmful, submission might look like standing firm and lovingly confronting the issue. Sometimes, the most loving thing you can do is hold someone accountable. Submission is about love and respect—not blind obedience.
A Touch of Humor
Now, let’s lighten the mood. Submission in marriage can sometimes feel like navigating a minefield of mismatched socks, thermostat wars, and differing Netflix preferences. (“How do you not like rom-coms?!”)
But those moments of compromise are where the magic happens. Maybe you let him keep the ugly recliner in the living room because it’s his “thinking chair.” Or you agree to his wild camping trip idea, even though you’re 99% sure “roughing it” isn’t your thing. These small acts of submission build trust and connection—and they often lead to hilarious stories for later.
Practical Tips for a Submissive Heart
Here are some down-to-earth tips to make submission a natural part of your marriage:
- Pray Together:
Nothing strengthens a marriage like inviting God into it. Pray for wisdom, patience, and unity. - Practice Gratitude:
Focus on what your husband does right instead of harping on his flaws. (Yes, even if he leaves the toilet seat up. Again.) - Learn His Love Language:
Whether it’s words of affirmation, acts of service, or quality time, show love in the way he best receives it. - Be Patient:
Rome wasn’t built in a day, and neither is a harmonious marriage. Growth takes time—and a lot of grace.
A Final Word
Submission isn’t about losing yourself or silencing your voice. It’s about choosing love over pride and unity over stubbornness. It’s about trusting that your husband, flawed as he may be, is trying his best to lead your family well.
And let’s not forget the ultimate goal: a marriage that reflects God’s love, grace, and beauty. So, the next time you hear the word submission, don’t think of chains or rules. Think of partnership, teamwork, and the art of building something truly extraordinary—together.
After all, as the old saying goes, “Behind every great man is a great woman.” And often, she’s submitting—not because she has to, but because she chooses to, out of love.
